Happiness Hotel

Oh, there's no fire in the fireplace There's no carpet on the floor Don't try to order dinner There's no kitchen anymore But if the road's been kind of bumpy And you need to rest a spell

Well, welcome home to Happiness Hotel

If you've got luggage, keep it handy But you're running out of luck 'Cause the bellhops ain't too organized And the elevator's stuck Still, if you don't mind friendly animals And can learn to stand the smell

Well, welcome home to Happiness Hotel

Welcome home, oh, welcome home No matter where you wander You won't ever do as well

Okay, the lobby's looking shabby And it's got the wrong address And the whole dang thing has been condemned By American Express Still, the management is cheerful Though the whole joint's gone to hell

Well, welcome home to Happiness Hotel

Oh, there are bugs, and there are lice Sure, we have our little problems But you'll never beat the price You've got every kind of critter You've got every kind of pest But we treat 'em all as equals Just like any other guest Though you're cleaner than the others Still, as far as we can tell

You'll fit right in to Happiness Hotel You'll fit right in to Happiness Hotel